Over the past year, I have been exploring the wonder of the human body and the human self through self-portraiture. It has been a difficult journey because I have never had particularly good self-esteem or self-worth. Nothing has been less so than discovering my ability (or rather lack thereof) to portray particular emotions, especially if I have no real reason to do so.
I initially wanted to have a bit of fun with this shoot and attempt to recreate an insta-worthy (or even pinterest-worthy for that matter) shot with watermelon. What can I say, when you’re home alone, the sun’s out, and the summer watermelons are juicy and red and CALLING FOR ME TO DEVOUR THEM, this is what happens.
Instagram (and other social media platforms) has an uncanny ability to play on our collective, internalised fears that we don’t belong or that we aren’t enough. (Side note: see Brené Brown about this on her studies post 9/11. It was an epiphany for me, being a history student.) I know lots of people talk about how social media only depicts one side of our human story which looks good. But it really is so true. When I attempt to show myself as happy and laughing, is that really me? Am I just trying to hide my true feelings? If I take a photo of myself laughing when there’s no reason other than posing for a photo, am I modelling, or am I exploring my true self? And what does this mean as a photographer?
A story in the Huffington Post came out yesterday that only compounded my thoughts. Beauty standards have previously been based on celebrity; what happens when the normalisation of filters and perfection permeates throughout society? Being yourself is a most liberating thing, because essentially what we want in life is freedom. The disappearance of integrity and authenticity is frightening to me, because it is what I value almost above all else. And the paradox is that while society expects women to conform to a certain standard, when women do attempt to achieve it, they are also shamed. Firstly, we should take pride in who we are and what we look like, but far more importantly, we must value inner beauty and the present moment.
Cue end of introspection and deep thinking…
-nat 🌺💖